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Hey all!
Forgive the clickbaity thumbnail, I certainly don't think that power is all men need. You lot absolutely want to feel loved and are big ole teddy bears when emotionally secure.
However, when Adam defines power as not being money, political prowess etc. but instead control over your life and ability to protect those you love. I think that's definitely a primary desire for most men I know. Perhaps you disagree though! Do let me know in the comments below. Apprecaite you all :)
@__keys Says:
Both versions of the masculinity being describeded would serve the goal of giving that man purpose, whether it hurts or harms. I understand the need to make a distinction, but the moral question really is entirely separate.
@jason.r9273 Says:
Men need power not love
@olivergreen1520 Says:
Saw this on my suggest so I mine as well watch. He’s right from a psychological pov however I think we need to take into consideration HOW men can get power. Love, respect, purpose, family, discipline, guidance are factors that lead men towards getting power. These are things men want and need because there has to be steps towards getting power whatever that may be.
@LolcowFarm-qr3if Says:
I never thought i would hear miss lauren talk about toxic masculinity
@LolcowFarm-qr3if Says:
Does Adam have a book
@StudSnob Says:
A poodle gets love, but i wouldnt switch places with it
@bearfootbard9529 Says:
Power could be translated to agency, autonomy, ability.
@justdev8965 Says:
I think men need both. But if I can have only one, love is much more crucial than power.
@MeYou-ut4kr Says:
Men need power not love is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard!
@LolcowFarm-qr3if Says:
Thats,why men build civilisation
@LolcowFarm-qr3if Says:
A women that likes men. Whaaaaaaattt
@patriciaanaya8917 Says:
YES, 100%!
@SanguineUltima Says:
I just have to accept that I can no more be a man than I can a woman. I'm barely even human, hell, much of the time I'm not even sure I'm real at all.. I wish I was never born, I wish this nightmare world didn't exist, and I want to wake up from the collective nightmare that is humanity.
@benmoi3390 Says:
I always told women I was with that the worst thing for a man is to feel powerless to help those he love.
That's why any father would ready to give his life for his children and wife,
as long as it save them.
when there is nothing to do to help someone out of it suffering... it feels like a failure and being worst than useless...
you start thinking that if you can't help then you don'T deserve her love.
and that a vicious cycle in a relationship.
@dade305_ Says:
what if the female partner has pcos?
@user-hliudpn Says:
I haven't watched the video, but I'm a male, and I need love from people. That's why I've been depressed. Most people not caring about me and other males with their toxic masculinity, in the man box, trying to have power in their lives and over me. I do want some power, but the right kind of power, used in the right way. Not to lord over people and be on a mean power trip.
I'm not a leftist, and I disagree with most their politics. I don't believe being homosexual and effeminate is masculine and there's much racism, but believe most of what people who talk about the man box have to say. I also agree with PCD in his YT video "What is toxic masculinity." Some of the comments under the video explain that they're not calling masculinity toxic in itself.
@dennisneumann5930 Says:
Great stuff! Yes! Yes! One of the most valuable little discussions on you tube. Truth is (shocker) men and women are different and therefore may respond differently to the same therapy method. Women will talk feelings all day long. WITHOUT being asked to. Men? What's a feeling? Why are we talking about feelings?..
@olphausmegaletor8835 Says:
"Women resent their husbands for not making enough for them to stay at home"
I am fucked lol
@CBT5777 Says:
I'm a 43-year-old male making 57k. a year in Portland OR and I can barely stay above water.
These people are worried about love? Sheesh, I wish i had your problems.
@nightshade9977 Says:
Who are these idiots?
@Starman594 Says:
Maybe not power but purpose.
@alexanderrowe790 Says:
Thank you Lauren and thank you Adam for bringing this to my attention - I've struggled with some of the issues raised in this podcast and I think Adam is spot on.
@doomicle Says:
Women don't want a weak men either. Women already have one p***y. They don't want their man to be a second one...
@carbon1479 Says:
19:17 - Why are we gendering breast cancer research when men's breasts should matter equally? Why are we gendering prostate cancer research when women's prostates matter equally? Sometimes these really just seem to be The Cathedral's talking points distorting people's capacity's to think.
@SFxTAGG3 Says:
Idk man, both would be nice.
@gavinriley5232 Says:
I'm currently in Grad school and honestly my mental health has improved amazingly as compared with undergrad.
I had more friends, and was in a long-term relationship. But I was still always feeling like crap. But now I am actually doing research and solving novel problems with a great group of people and I have never been happier.
I am no longer in a relationship, I have fewer friends, I have less time to do my favorite leisure activities. But I am able to actually solve problems and push the boundaries of my field and I have never been happier.
@metalwarrior6657 Says:
Good talk but it is important to define what depression is. You seem to conflate the more psychological/relationship and the more biological sides of things (there are states where you literally almost cannot move). While they are very interconnected, we will not deal with it just by coaching and this idea creates an incomplete narrative.
@sir_christmas_leopold_duckson Says:
I found power and control over my life once I abandoned the idea of love. American women have done nothing but cause me depression and misery. Every man I know who's in a relationship or married is completely weakened and emasculated by it. They can't do anything without their woman's permission. Why people want that kind of life, I will never know.
@garyfrancis6193 Says:
Imagine obese, blue-haired, tattooed women with miserable attitudes and five kids from different fathers can’t understand why men don’t find them alluring. Female psychology at its best.
@garyfrancis6193 Says:
Simple truth: women have never loved men, only the things men can provide for them. As soon as he can’t she looks for some other guy. Look at the divorce rate. At best women might love a man a little less than she loves her cat. In recent years I have come to believe women have no soul. If you’re religious look t Genesis. God breathed life into Adam and Adam be me “ a living soul”. This is never said about Eve because she had no soul. This was ancient people transmitting this truth about women to us especially mean as a warning.
@aungyethu6560 Says:
Men who want to feel powerful than loved is someone who has never been truly loved before. Men mistaken power for love and chase it will be chasing it forever until the end of time. Because power is never enough and power corrupt. But when you feel loved, there is nothing else you want in the world.
@florintanase9348 Says:
Power is Domination and the ability to make others submit, for ex: in order to best protect what you have, others must be so afraid of you that it wouldn't even cross their mind to try something, in order for you to have more somebody else must have less, in order to survive you must be able to take everything from someone else(including his life), in order to be a good friend you must be able to be a good enemy.
There will allways be men that are more powerful than others, navigating the intricate ways of power and domination is a man's mission through life.
@steeevealbright Says:
Wow
@lightwarrior111 Says:
🙏🏻
@jacobgraf7284 Says:
This man's videos have helped me in working through issues of disorganized attachment and insecurity.
@machtnichtsseimann Says:
( Was Lauren's mic not working well here? )
@threemar3 Says:
This should be shown in all psychology/social study classes regardless of age. If men and women learned how to respect and love one another, so many of societies problems would be solved.
@Mike-qc8xd Says:
no i dont need love i want respect love would be nice but respect is better something useful that would allow me to generate that respect I am good if that can happen
@NebirosVT Says:
My depression is 100% rooted in powerlessness.
I'm lonely, it's true, but I tend to think that'll change once I find my power.
If I find my power.
The big issue is that, when I look at my life, I see wasted time and no accomplishments.
I'm 36 next year, starting to push 40, and the only thing I've ever achieved is 3 courses that don't seem to mean anything and getting my drivers license.
Other people I went to school with have bought homes, started families and businesses and are living really well in other countries; my ex even has a good job, she's doing university now, bought her own car and is looking for her own place to move in to.
I can't help but feel like she dodged a bullet because I'm still living with my parents, been unemployed for 11/17 years and never earned more than minimum wage.
I have a better chance of being beamed aboard the starship Enterprise and learning the ways of the Jedi from Master Yoda than I do of moving out and getting my own car.
Indeed, if it weren't for my parents and other family members, I would 100% be on the street begging for handouts.
I feel useless, worthless and hopeless because I'm entirely powerless.
What's worse is, when I vent about it, I get cold judgment and am made to feel wrong and ashamed for how I feel, as if how I'm feeling is invalid and how dare I? Often times I'm told that, "Other people have it far worse than you."
I mean, that's true; my nightmare is their every day, and my every is, probably, their dream, but does that mean I shouldn't feel bad about my own situation? It's not like I'm just sitting on my hands, doing nothing, while I complain about it.
This callous and cold judgment and shaming is why people who suffer depression close up and end up committing suicide and, believe me, I've been close. Battling depression for the better part of 20 years, on my own without meds or therapy while being told by friends and family that I'm just being self-absorbed and full of nonsense, doesn't lend itself well to warding off suicidal thoughts.
Last year I decided I want to go to Japan; I found a Vtuber with Hololive called Calliope Mori and, through her story, I was reminded that going to Japan was my goal for a long time and I've been riding high on that for a while. What nobody in my family even knows is that I had planned how, when and where I was going to commit suicide before I found Calli.
It started off as clips of her content, and it escalated into full blown fandom; in many ways, she saved my life, and I've been riding on that ever since.
The problem is that it's now been more than a year and I'm no closer to that goal than when I started; I've completed two courses (A 140-hour TEFL Teaching English as a Foreign Language training course, and Colt Steele's Web Developer Bootcamp) and they don't seem to be at all useful, and the situation at home gets me down, so I'm not in a great way, and what's worse is that I don't know what to do about it.
I can't seem to find the solution to this problem, and then other things happens, other problems I can't seem to solve on my own, and it just makes me feel even more powerless and really somewhat retarded.
As if I need someone to hold my hand in absolutely everything I do because I'm too much of a retard to figure it out on my own.
That's why I'm depressed. I'm a failure; I don't know what else you'd call someone in my situation.
Thing about being a failure is that you're only a failure until you succeed, and I'm craving success. I don't want to be a failure anymore.
@cherubxingyu Says:
I see so many women in my life focus on solving the problem rather than being emotionally vulnerable. As a female, from a young age, I enjoy the high of solving problem and accomplishing things together! Feeling competitive in sports and have incredible bonds with teammates.
@anonymity11 Says:
Dude, a lot of men who DO seek help and therapy, but they are advised by these feminist and soy (male and female) indoctrinated ideologues. Their education is influenced heavily by radical feminist ideologies and these therapists don't know it and it is why men don't have any success from their sessions. It's not so much that men don't seek help. It's that when men do seek help, they are given the WRONG advice. Because masculinity is always bashed in present day society, and it is promoted that men must always act and relate the way women do. Men are not allowed to have any traditional masculine guidance, because that is considered "toxic". The men take this advice from their feminist therapists, and it ends up not working for them. Then they have no choice but to self-delete, because now they tried the "seeking help" part and that still didn't work. And stop being so scared to say that things are "gendered". It's not only suicide that is gendered. Most things in life really are also gendered. Because men and women are different, and that is a truth which our present day feminist crazed society does not want to accept.
@anonymity11 Says:
So much truth in this video. But this is going to trigger the feminists hard. Lol, they are going to screech.
@rickjohnson6818 Says:
Love and power are intertwined in both men and women. Having the power to express love is essential in both. Men need the power to protect the ones they love while women need the power to nourish those they love. Our society has stripped both men and women of this simple idea. This is of course a generalization. There are exceptions.
@bleachdiet559 Says:
I love it when a man speaks on the behalf of 4 billion people /s
@Brandon-w3o Says:
An absolutely brilliant interview! Thank you so much for introducing Adam to us!
@gmel4967 Says:
Mama mia.
This is why I'm convinced the waiting room in hell is gonna be an HR department.
@josephmagil1149 Says:
We live in a society that has robbed most people of power. We are pawns with no opportunities for agency. We must wait to be acted upon rather than to act.
@merica76 Says:
Good, enjoyable interview. Thank you.
@Fandar Says:
Men need power, not love? Then that means men don't deserve to have their 'depression' cured.
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